Pulling the Trigger All Wrong
by lunaXmidnight
Summary: Bella meets her new English teacher... Mr. Cullen. She has a large crush on him. He requites her feelings. Both deal with the secrets and sneaking as they fall deeply. Rated M for sex, language and some violence
1. Seventeen Ain't So Sweet

**Another experiment. Tell me if you love or hate it.**

You know when you let out that first sigh of the morning in the school parking lot in your final year. The one that is long, saying "one more year". I let out that sigh as I slammed the rusted door of my pickup and stared at the too familiar school. I was usually the first student there. I saw the row of cars belonging to the faculty. And at the end was a shiny Volvo. I never remembered a Volvo… Guess Forks High inherited a new teacher.

I made my way to the front office to get my schedule. Ms. Cope smiled and handed me the list. With a returning, and utterly fake, smile I left to the library to organize what I needed. Ok I was a dork. I was in all honor classes and had all my credits, yet I stayed another year because of my best friend. She still had credits to yearn and I didn't want to leave her alone. Plus we had plans.

Her name was Mary-Alice Brandon. But heaven forbid you use her full name. She goes by Alice. I think the drama club went to her head. She was an _actress_. We decided we would both move to New York. I had a scholarship to NYU and she was going to the Actor's Studio. Together we saved up enough to rent out a studio apartment. Both of us working long shifts at the local antique shop.

I pulled out my fresh supplies and then looked over my schedule.

**1****st**** English 4 AP Honors**

_Cullen Room 3 Building A_

The rest were the same as usual. But I never heard of a Cullen. Must be the owner of the Volvo. I shrugged and began placing paper and dividers into notebooks. Before long the bell rand for our ten minute warning. Eager to see this new teacher I hurried to Room 3 Building A.

I saw the door propped open and peeked inside. I saw a tall lean form with odd bronze bed head writing on the chalkboard. I silently made my way to the front row and settled into the chair.

I knew it was a guy, but I had yet to see his face. He wore a crisp white and light blue pinstripe oxford with dark grey dress slacks. His sleeves were rolled up at the crease of his elbows, showing forearms that slightly rippled with his writing. Soon students shuffled in loudly, chatting and giggling.

Then Mr. Cullen turned to face his class and I sat dumbfounded. My English teacher was hands down the most attractive man I had ever seen. He had sharp straight features and beautiful green eyes behind black framed glasses and a pouty-lipped smile.

I cleared my throat and shook the inappropriate thoughts from my head. Then he began speaking after the tardy bell rang.

"Good morning Seniors. I'm Mr. Cullen, the new head of the English department and your first period teacher. Here are my only rules in my class…"

This earned him a crowd of groans.

"I know, rules, but they are necessary. One, I do not tolerate sleeping during my class. Find something else to do, something productive. Two, no iPods or cd players during my lessons. Once I've sat down in this chair and go quiet, feel free to listen. And three, please, please don't half-ass on your work. Essays, I expect to be almost perfect. If you're having trouble, tutorials are after school on Mondays and Wednesdays."

Half the class wasn't even paying attention.

"Now that the boring stuff is out of the way, I'll go over the subject itinerary. Tomorrow we will begin reading a series of Edgar Allen Poe. The world of Gothic Literature. After each section of his collections I will assign a topic that you will write an essay over. My essays are to be school appropriate and at least three pages long."

He pushed his glasses farther up his nose and looked over the class. His eyes met mine as he opened his mouth to speak. But nothing came out. After a moment he adjusted his navy tie and began again, speaking this time.

"After the essay there will be a debate. Be prepared to speak in front of the class with concrete reasons for your argument. These debates will last the class period, each opponent will have twenty minutes to attest their outlook."

More groans. I on the other hand was buzzing with excitement. A class that was challenging and in high demand… And the fact it was taught by a completely drop-dead sexy teacher.

"Now with," he looked down at his watch, "twenty-five minutes left, I'd like to take attendance, when I call your name tell me your favorite book, favorite hobby and favorite color. Tell me if you prefer a nickname and correct me if I butcher it."

He went down the list, checking off names and nodding at their answers. "Isabella Swan?"

I timidly raised my hand and he waited. I blinked rapidly before speaking.

"Um, Wuthering Heights… R-reading… And green…" The last one was a slip. Before this class my favorite color was blue. I stared into his brilliant emerald eyes as he smiled.

"You like the classics." Then he gave a heartbreaking crooked smile before finishing up. Once he had called everyone he settled into his desk chair and picked up a pencil and began to scribble furiously. His brow furrowed in concentration.

I watched as he would write something, observe it then quickly scrub it with the eraser. I gasped when the bell chimed for our dismissal, throwing me from my Mr. Cullen induced haze.

With shaky hands I slowly began to rise from my seat and scuffled my way to the door.

"Isabella?" I froze and turned to see that he had put the pencil behind his ear and was standing.

"Yes, sir?" I asked in a shy voice.

"You seem excited about this class. You must enjoy Literature." His voice was smooth and so confident. At that moment I wanted to be a teacher's aid, only in college and of legal age.

"Yes, I want to major in it."

"What school are you going to?" he asked coming around to lean against his desk and crossing his arms and ankles casually.

"Um, NYU. I have a full scholarship." God I couldn't hold a damn conversation. I was shy, but not that shy.

"That's impressive. I lived in New York for a while. I went to City College for my degree."

I blushed at his compliment and bowed my head, hiding in my dark curtain of curls. When I looked back up he was staring at me. Not in a creepy way, but in a appraising way. That sent a ripple of a possibility that he could in some alternate universe like me.

But that moment was ruined when students stared filing in and the bell rang.

"Oh. Sorry Isabella. Let me write you a pass." He turned to scribble out an excuse on a slip of paper and handed it to me.

"Bella… I go by Bella."

He smiled and urged me to class.

I made my way through the empty halls without seeing into my second period, handing Mr. Banner my pass and sitting next to Alice. Crushing on my English 4 AP Honor teacher…

**Reviews are better that Teaching Edward in black rimmed glasses!**


	2. When All Else Fails Blame the Milkshake

**I forgot the disclaimer for last chapter! I do not own twilight, sorry!**

The rest of the week I found myself thinking of Mr. Cullen. During his class I would sit and watched him very closely as he read the words of Poe. His voice was perfectly fit for the eerie tales. Smooth and daunting. I memorized his movements. How he barely looked at the page when he read. Every so often his adam's apple would bob. He'd run his hand through his hair and push up his glasses.

I worked meticulously on the essay of Lenore. Making about four drafts that I decorated with red pen and highlighters. By Thursday night I had typed the final draft, proud of my flawless dissertation. It was five pages long without the double spacing. I even added headers and footers, page numbers and the date on every page. I neatly put it in a clear binder, each page in a sheet protector. My OCD was border lining lunacy.

I turned it in early, it was due Monday, but I wanted to please Mr. Cullen in the only way possible. You could say I was kissing his ass a little. When I handed it to him before class started he smiled approvingly. He asked if he could read over it and I nodded, taking my seat. I watched nervously as he examined my essay carefully. After a few minutes he looked up at me from over his glasses that had slid down before pushing them back up.

"Bella, this is probably the best thesis I've read. Most college students aren't this detailed or in depth. You've deconstructed the topic fluidly. Great job."

I felt my cheeks flood with heat and tucked my hair behind one ear. "Thank you, Mr. Cullen…"

"I think I'll choose you for the debate today. You'd be a fierce competitor. Have you taken a debate class?" he asked coming to sit on top of the desk beside me.

"No, sir. Forks doesn't offer one. But I took Speech."

"I'm sure your NYU essay is just as flawless."

"I got in didn't I?" I quipped, raising a brow.

He smirked, raising his brow as well.

"You're not like the other kids, you know that?" he asked leaning in.

"What do you mean?"

"You are way beyond your years. All AP Honor classes, no detentions, no marks. Not even a single tardy. Not to mention your perfect attendance." He replied putting his hands on my desk and smiling.

"And how did you know that?" I questioned leaning in, challenging him.

"You piqued my interests. I've never met someone quite like you. Reading classic books that most adults can't begin to understand."

"You didn't answer my question, Mr. Cullen…" I pressed, curious, but sounding coy.

"I read your file."

"Did you? Find anything you liked?"

He smirked, rubbing his thumbs on my desk, his eyes burning into mine.

"Maybe. Except for one thing…" He leaned even closer, lose enough that I could smell his sweet spearmint breath. "Your police chief father gave me a speeding ticket last night…"

I had to blink to rearrange my scattered thoughts. But before I could reply, a few students came in, dispelling our tense banter.

He quickly straightened up when he heard them enter and went back to his desk. I sighed, wishing we could have more time to talk. Well I wouldn't consider that talking. I had a large intuition that we were in fact flirting. This made me shiver and throb between my thighs.

After my final class ended, Alice rode home with me. She said something about a celebration of making it through the week. Plus she could tell I was acting weird. I had yet to tell her of my Mr. Cullen obsession. And tonight I had a feeling she would find out tonight.

We sung at the top of our lungs to Framing Hanley's version of "Lollipop" on our way to my house. We held chips, dip, popcorn and chocolate covered raisins hostage in my room with a stack of chick movies and my expansive cd collection. The first half of the night she talked about her Jasper.

Jasper was eighteen, out of school and working in his dad's diner, saving up for UW. I felt bad for him, he and his dad weren't the richest of people. But Alice didn't care. She had told me they would get married and have three kids.

But her curiosity got the best of her as she painted my toenails with black polish.

"Alright, you have been giddy all week. What have you been slipping into your sodas?" she asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Nothing."

"You know Bella, denial is not just a river in Egypt."

I snorted and shook my head. "I just… Oh Alice I have developed a crush on the unattainable…" I groaned, rubbing my temples.

She looked at me confused.

"Mr. Cullen. My teacher, Alice! I am lusting after someone I can't have!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms up in frustration.

Alice giggled and blew on my polished toes. "Mr. Cullen, huh? I've heard the rumors of him. Jessica and Lauren are practically writing _Mrs. Cullen_ all over their binders."

We both snickered at that.

"But what am I gonna do? Hell, we flirted today! I don't think he even knew that. Alice, I'm going to go crazy in that class!" I groaned, stuffing my face in the pillows on my bed.

"Bella," Alice pulled me out of the pillow, face serious. "Why don't you just date someone? Get him out of your mind? It's worth a try."

I groaned again. Date someone? I've never been on a date. My first kiss was with the next door neighbor's kid when I lived with my mom in Phoenix when I was nine. After that disaster I never really took interest in boys. Plus Forks wasn't the greatest place to date anyone. My choices weren't very great. There was Mike Newton, who was too much of a kid, immature. Eric Yorkie was too much of a pizza face. And Tyler Crowley was almost in the clutches of Lauren Mallory and she already hated me.

"There's always Jacob, your childhood friend? He's cute."

I gaped at her. "Jake? Ew! Alice, he's like my brother!"

"I was just suggesting. Well, we can figure this out. In the meantime lets get lost in the world of Tim Burton. Starting with Sweeney Todd!"

We were obsessed with Tim Burton movies.

Saturday morning I woke up to see that I was alone. Alice wasn't beside me. I saw my phone on the nightstand flashing with a text. I read it.

_Emergency. Mom invited family over. See you Monday! –A_

I yawned and began my morning rituals. During my shower I decided to drive to Port Angeles to my favorite book shop and drink coffee in the café they had inside.

Slipping on a nice sweater and my favorite dark jeans and boots, I left the house. I left Charlie a note by the phone so he wouldn't send a search party.

The shop was quiet as always with a scarce amount of people. I had _The Feminine Mystique_ open in my lap and a steaming latte in hand.

"Now what is a seventeen year old girl doing in a book shop on a Saturday? Shouldn't you be out shopping or hanging with friends?"

I jerked my head up and gulped.

He was so different… With a normal long-sleeved grey t-shirt and jeans. And no glasses? His hair was disheveled more than usual and he had stubble on his jaw and upper lip.

"Mr. Cullen, it's nice to see you." I felt like an idiot.

"Bella. You didn't answer my question." He smirked, remembering my words yesterday.

"Um, I hate shopping and my _friend_ is busy with family." His smile grew. I bit my lip, not sure what to say. Luckily he saved me from blurting out something embarrassing.

"Why don't I treat you to lunch? For your amazing essay?" he asked.

Lunch? Oh, no. This would be like a date… Say no! Say no!

"I couldn't let you pay, Mr. Cullen."

He laughed. "Today I'm just Edward. Today, I 'm not your English Teacher, but a friend."

A friend. Lunch with a friend. That's not a date. I smiled.

"Edward, huh?" I teased as we walked down to a small diner around the corner.

"My mother was a fan of the classics too. She loved Jane Austin."

I laughed. "I like it. It's strong, kind of different. I'm glad it's not Jeff or Cody."

He chuckled. "What about Bella? Not really a popular choice in Forks."

"My mom. She had an Italian streak. I was born during that phase. So Isabella Marie. Not that original."

"Marie?"

"My Grandmother on my Dad's side. What's your middle name?"

"Anthony."

I repeated his full name out loud. "Edward Anthony Cullen."

"Isabella Marie Sawn."

We snickered, entering the diner and settling in a booth. I went silent when I accidentally bumped my knee into his. Heat flooded my cheeks as I mumbled an apology. We soon were munching on cheeseburgers and slurping milkshakes.

"I have a brother and sister-in-law. Emmett and Rosalie Cullen. They live in New Hampshire. He's working on being Pre-med and she's an editor for a magazine."

We had been firing questions back and forth. Bella and Edward. Not Bella and Mr. Cullen. It was easy to forget our roles and we again slipped into or flirting.

I blushed and smiled. He smirked and laughed. I wanted to change his profession. I wanted to run my hands through his hair. Wanted to feel his lips. My stomached burned with these thoughts and he saw me squirming.

"You okay?" he asked, laying a pale hand on my forearm. I gasped as a shock of electricity shot over my skin. He quickly retracted his hand and glanced at his fingers. "Bella?"

Closing my eyes and nodding, I answered. "I'm fine."

He eyed me carefully then set money down on the table. "Maybe you need some air."

It did feel stifling in the smoky diner. I stumbled to the door and took in a deep breath once outside. The wind blasted into my face, burning my cheeks and nose.

"You okay now?" Edward asked. I nodded, leaning against the brick and sighing.

I went completely still when I felt his fingers brush my hair from my face and behind my ear. It made me shiver and I looked up into to his eyes. We stared at each other intensely until someone walked past and into the diner.

"Um, sorry. Uh, thanks for lunch… Edward." I stammered out.

He nodded and then smiled nervously. "Let me walk you to you truck. Will you be alright to drive?"

"Yeah. I think I just got a brain freeze from the milkshake," I lied.

We found my truck in less than five minutes. He stood by the opened door, hands shoved into his pockets. "Well, see you Monday?" I offered lamely.

"Yeah, Monday. See you, Bella." With that he left, glancing back at me as I let my truck roar to life and get on the now less busy street.

That wasn't a lunch with my teacher. That wasn't innocent… That was a date. The only thing missing was a goodbye kiss.

**Okay I got good feedback for the first chapter! Don't worry sweethearts. They will eventually get to the M rated stuff, but I don't really wanna just dive in, you know.**

**Reviews are better than Edward flirting!**


	3. Word Games Will Always End With Sex

**Everyone seems to like this story so far so I'm going to update as much as possible.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

Again I was caught up in another lesson of Edward's. I couldn't help but call him that in my mind. It eased my conscience a little bit. We hadn't run into each other out of school in about a month now and I wanted to get to know more about him.

"Bella? Bella, the bell rang."

I blinked, coming out of my scattered thoughts to see Edward shuffling papers at his desk.

"Huh?"

He chuckled, one side of his lips higher than the other. I shook my head and saw that we were alone in the classroom. I slowly began putting my things back into my bag, not ready to leave so quickly.

"Bella?"

I swiveled around at his voice.

"Um, I'm going into Seattle for a tour of the old underground city tomorrow. I was wondering if you'd be interested?" he asked.

"Like a field trip?" I asked dumbly. He grimaced and came to stand in front of me.

"Just as friends. I could pick you up and we can see what's underneath Seattle? I mean if you're not comfortable with this I understand."

I was already shaking my head. "I'd love to."

He let out a breathy laugh and nodded. "Okay. Uh, the tour starts at eleven so I could get you around eight and we can get breakfast at the first starbucks made."

I laughed and then blushed at his amazing smile.

After giving him my address I made my way to Chemistry. Alice was waiting for me, eyes full of questions.

I sat down silently, pulling out my notebook and pen.

Alice cleared her throat impatiently.

"Okay," I sighed. "He's taking me to the Underground City Tour in Seattle tomorrow."

"What?!" She squeaked. "Bella! He's your teacher. Isn't that inappropriate?" she asked in a rushed whisper.

"Outside of school we're just friends, Alice."

"But isn't it weird? I mean do you call him by his first name or Mr. Cullen?"

"_Edward _told me to call him by his first name outside of campus."

"This can go very wrong, Bella. Very, very wrong. If something happens between you. He could be fired _or _be sent to prison for statutory rape or something."

I shushed her and rubbed my temples. "Alice, we're not going on a date. In his words, we're going as friends. And I'm eighteen, he wouldn't go to prison. It's totally innocent." Okay that last part wasn't so true. To me it was far from innocent. Well the part where I was fantasizing that I could drag Edward off from the tour group and molest him.

"Bella… I'm not trying to upset you. You're right. I know you have a head on your shoulders and when or if you two decide to try a relationship, I will help you in any way," she mumbled sincerely.

"Thanks."

She gave me an ice melting smile. There was a suspicious glint in her eyes.

"What?" I asked, dreading what she wanted.

"Can I help you dress for tomorrow?" She stuck out her thin bottom lip and made it quiver. I groaned, dropping my head to the table.

"Fine."

She giddily clapped her hands together like a five year old and was dancing in her seat.

After Alice left that night I was nervous about the outfit she put together. It was a tight midnight blue sweater that was pretty low cut and skinny jeans. I decided to ignore the makeup she left with a paper on how to apply it. It all went to the back of my closet.

It was around seven when I woke up on Saturday. I hurried through eating cold pop-tarts and getting ready. Just as I was pulling on my best winter jacket there was a knock on the front door. I opened it to find Edward there looking stunning and casual. A loose sweater over a white button up and faded jeans. I felt severely overdressed.

"Hi," he said with that crooked smile.

"Hi." I wrapped my scarf around my neck to at least try to cover my prominent cleavage and he led me to his Volvo.

About five minutes into the drive he spoke. "We've got a two hour drive, how about we play a game."

"Oh-kay," I replied slowly.

"I'll say a word and you say the first thing that comes to mind."

I nodded.

"Um, Drink."

"Tea."

"Book"

"Reading."

"Food."

"Ravioli"

"School."

"Bus." He snorted. "What? You said the first thing that comes to mind." He laughed again.

"Green."

"Eyes." Whoops.

"Smile."

"Lips."

"Lips."

"You can't copy!"

He shook his head. "That's not a rule. Now, lips."

I gulped. "Kiss."

He cleared his throat and shifted. He waited before picking the game back up.

"Moon."

"Light."

"Rain."

"Wet." He coughed then shifted in his seat again.

"Heat."

"Passion." I couldn't stop that one.

"Desire."

"Untouchable."

His knuckles strained as he gripped the steering wheel.

"How about you start?" he suggested. I took a breath and slide off my jacket. It was a little stifling in the small incasing we were in.

"Uh…" Might as well push my limit. "Steam."

"Boat." Not exactly what I was thinking.

"Teacher."

"Student."

"Student."

"Bella." He sent me a smirk.

"Bella?" I quipped.

"Beautiful…"

"Beautiful."

"Sex-y…"

"Um… Sexy…"

"Sex…"

"Maybe we should stop playing? Um, listen to music instead?"

"Yeah." He muttered a string of profanities under his breath as he reached into the backseat for his cd case. He set it in my lap. "You choose."

I flipped through the collection and pulled out the Cage the Elephants album. I set it to _Ain't No Rest for the Wicked _and let it cover the tense silence.

Edward finally relaxed out of his stiff posture and started mouthing the words.

About an hour into our trip I had slipped the Romeo and Juliet Soundtrack in and was listening to Radiohead. How ironic…

I could already tell, if things went the way I was dying for, we would be in so much of a mess. I looked at him to see him staring out of the corner of his eye.

It now was not a matter of if… but when.

**The actual "date" will be next chapter!**

**Reviews are better than hearing Edward say sex!**


	4. When You're Alone, Jack's Your Only Pal

**Okay so my computer is acting really weird and the internet was not working so I am very sorry. It wouldn't load any sites at all so again I apologize!**

**Then I couldn't reply to reviews so I'm answering someone that asked a question.**

**Lilly 2010: I don't know if I will put a chapter in Edward's POV. Most of the time its mostly in his in my other stories LOL. **

**I don't own Twilight.**

"How can you choose which flavor?" I asked, staring wide-eyed at the selection of exotic teas. I wasn't much for coffee. But Edward lived off the stuff. He ordered it black and put two packets of sugar in it. Yuck. It made me realize how much of a difference our age was. I bet in a few years I'll crave the stuff.

"You can mix and match," he said, smirking. Apparently my innocent wonderment was amusing him. I rolled my eyes.

A few people grumbled about a stupid "child" not making up their mind. I turned to see about ten people waiting. So I quickly ordered.

"Raspberry and lemon tea."

Edward paid once again, much to my annoyance. We sat at a small bar table with tall stools. Our knees were touching again. "So why are we going into a sewer?" I teased.

"There was a fire in the original Seattle in the late 1800s. They give a tour and it seemed interesting."

I smiled. How much more perfect could he get?

We chatted a little while longer until Edward said we were going to be late.

The inside of the tour was dark and dank, only lit by a few lights hanging from the walls. The tour guide cracked jokes and told us of the horrible Seattle fire. I was acutely aware of Edward's close proximity. His arm brushing mine in the crowded underground.

Finally we began moving through the forgotten city, listening to the history of each little nook and cranny. Edward would add to the information every now and then, whispering closely in my ear. My heart would pound against my ribcage and my palms would turn sweaty when I felt his warm breath against my neck.

And then I must have almost died of a heart attack, because Edward held my waist as he helped me down a step drop. When he put my feet down, I slid against his chest. He gasped and stiffened before putting distance between us. I sighed, of course he wouldn't be at all interested in a _child_. I sighed again. I was a stupid teenager with stupid hormones that were targeted at a man out of my reach.

Soon the tour was drawing to a close and I was sad that it meant less time with Edward.

It seemed bright outside since we were in the dim underground for two hours. Even though the sun was hidden behind grey clouds. Edward was silent as he led me back to his Volvo, opening the passenger seat and closing it when I sat inside. He didn't say a word the whole way out of Seattle. The tension was drowning me, so I decided to break it.

"Thank you, I enjoyed our day."

He gave a slight nod and a forced smile. I knew he was uncomfortable. What had I done? Did I say something that I didn't mean to say out loud? Sometimes I spoke my thoughts without realizing. Or maybe he guessed that I had a pitiful teenage crush on him and was annoyed. I had no idea what his problem was, but I had a feeling it had to deal with me.

Finally he spoke. "I don't think it's a good idea that we do something like this again."

My body went rigid. "What do you mean?"

"Bella, I'm your teacher. Does your father even know you're with me?"

I stayed quiet, not answering.

"I'll take that as a no. It's not appropriate for me to be taking you to the city."

He spoke to me like a misbehaving five year old. I became immediately annoyed.

"You're the one that asked me, _Mr. Cullen_," I sneered.

He glared, then let out a long breath. "I know, it was my idea. But I can't be around you, Bella." He sounded so depressed, and his words felt strained. I wanted to get out of the car and walk back to Forks.

"Fine. Outside of school I'll pretend you don't exist. In fact, I won't even acknowledge you in class." I was furious. He was so different. How could I have been so naïve?

"Be reasonable, Bella. I am still an authority figure. You are a…child. And I'm an…adult. You will respect me in my classroom." His voice was demanding, proving his statement. I coward away from him and scowled out my window.

He pressed buttons on the radio and Medina Lake filled the heated cab. _House of Cards._ When the cd came to _Pandora_ he quickly changed it. I grumbled and pressed my forehead to the glass wanting desperately to escape this hell.

He switched cds to Fair to Midland. _Dance of the Manatee_ played. He wanted "safe" music. Nothing sexual. He knew what I felt for him. It must've been so obvious. I was brought out of my brooding by my phone buzzing in my back pocket. It was a text from Alice. I decided she would be a good distraction. I ignored Edward, let the music cloud my thoughts and texted Alice the whole trip home.

Edward made no move to get out and open my door. I huffed and opened it myself. But before I got out I turned down Alkaline Trio's _Radio_, I hoped that song wasn't meant for me, and turned to him, but not looking at his face.

"I'm sorry I ruined your day. I will no longer consider you a friend, but will call you Mr. Cullen. I will treat you like any of the other faculty at school. But I do thank you for the educational experience." My speech was monotone. Dead. I didn't want to see his reaction so I quickly shot out and jogged to my front porch through the pelting rain.

I would get Edward Anthony Cullen out of my mind.

**The much anticipated Edward POV! LOL. Here you go!**

I was such a prick. She hadn't done anything wrong. I had. I had completely crossed the line of student/teacher propriety. When she disappeared into the house I sped off, feeling like an asshole. But I was to protect her. I wouldn't take advantage of her. She didn't see that I was compulsively attracted to her. And she only wanted to be friends. I was a monster. A Pervert. I had to severe our "relationship" before I became an obsessed stalker.

I crawled up into my driveway, pressed the remote attached to my keys and parked inside the garage.

My home of course was empty and silent. No one but me. To fill the hollowness I turned up my stereo, letting my ears be drowned in Sound Garden.

I pulled out a full bottle of Jack from my liquor cabinet and searched for my scotch glasses and went to my leather arm chair.

_In my eyes  
Indisposed  
In disguise  
As no one knows  
Hides the face  
Lies the snake  
The sun  
In my disgrace_

I poured until the brown liquid spilled over, brought it to my lips and chugged back half of it, embracing the burning it did to my throat._  
_

_Boiling heat  
Summer stench  
neath the black  
The sky looks dead  
Call my name  
Through the cream  
And Ill hear you  
Scream again_

I then just replaced the half a drank and swigged roughly again._  
_  
_Black hole sun  
Wont you come  
And wash away the rain  
Black hole sun  
Wont you come  
Wont you come  
_

Another round. I was starting to get queasy and felt my body start to detach from my mind as it wandered around the forbidden girl I wanted so much.

_  
Stuttering  
Cold and damp  
Steal the warm wind  
Tired friend  
Times are gone  
For honest men  
And sometimes  
Far too long  
For snakes  
In my shoes  
A walking sleep  
And my youth  
I pray to keep  
Heaven send  
Hell away  
No one sings  
Like you  
Anymore  
_

I was crying now. The tears burning my cheeks. I was pathetic. A mere _girl_ had turned me into a sap. I was drinking myself to oblivion because I wanted to put my hands on a student. She didn't know how much power she had over me.

_  
Hang my head  
Drown my fear  
Till you all just  
Disappear_

I ignored my cell phone. Ignored my landline. I let my voicemail pick up my calls. Some from my parents. Some from my brother. And one that didn't leave a message…

The cd changer switched on my sound system. The Academy Is… played _The Phrase that Pays_. Ha. A song encouraging me to do what I wanted. How sardonic.

Bella Swan would never be within reach. And I lost her as a friend…

**Sorry it's a little short but I wanted to update as soon as my internet was working.**

**Review please!**

**LuNa**


	5. WhiplashMadwardPeppermint?

**Here's the next Chapter! Enjoy my loving readers! LOL**

**Remember I don't own Twilight.**

BPOV

I took my sweet time getting to my English class. Partly because I was dreading having to show my face to Edw- Mr. Cullen again… And it would probably piss him off that I was ten minutes late. I dabbled in the bathroom. Checking my outfit. I chose to dress a little more stylishly, hoping it looked like I wasn't completely embarrassed and heart-broken. Washing my hands for the third time, I finally left for the next hour of hell.

I wasn't disappointed. Edw- Mr. Cullen, was furious. He glared over his falling black framed glasses. "Miss Swan, my class starts a 8:30 promptly. You're ten minutes late."

I just shrugged and took my seat, pretending to look bored.

He started the lesson and never glanced in my direction. I found myself wishing he would. It was a lost cause.

When he began reading from our new story, _The Fall of the House of Usher_, I noticed his appearance.

He had a shadow of stubble over his jaw and upper lip. His clothes were wrinkled and his tie was crooked. He looked miserable.

Soon the bell rang and I felt remorse weigh me down. Saturday I acted like a child. I proved his point. I was so immature.

I sagged my shoulders when I was outside of the classroom and trudged all the way to Chemistry. I was a complete bitch.

Alice gave me some comfort. She knew every detail of my screw up. But she told me it was his blunder. That he pulled the rug out from underneath me. I didn't agree so much. My girlish fantasies got me into this mess. I lost him as a friend.

EPOV

Today was proof that she was never interested in me. Saturday didn't even bother her. She was sticking to the agreement we made. God, I had been so stupid. And while I looked a complete mess she was perfectly groomed and dressed to the nine.

I'm an idiot. I was expecting her to at least be a little disheveled. But she looked perfect.

I droned through the rest of the day in a haze. Not really listening to my students. I stayed in my classroom through lunch, still too hungover and depressed to eat. Plus I was avoiding her, not wanting to see her carrying on with life like I was just her teacher.

I decided to leave when school was out. Fuck sitting at my desk for another hour grading papers.

As I opened the door to my Volvo I looked out at the parking lot. And without thinking I spotted her next to her rusty beat up Chevy, but she wasn't alone.

Bella was talking to him, smiling and standing a little too close. Her eyes flickered up and met mine from across the lot. But she looked away quickly and smiled wider at the guy next her. He lifted his hand up and pushed her hair behind her ear. She ducked her head down, cheeks blazing. What did this prick want?

I pushed my glasses up on my nose and willed myself to calm down, as to not go over and piss on her leg and beat the shit out of the guy. She wasn't mine. She was simply flirting with someone her age. The right thing to do. Not waste her youth on a pervert teacher that's border lining obsessed.

The guy wasn't bad looking. Blonde hair, tall and a bit muscular. A jock.

Once he left Bella was all smiles and giddy. But her face went blank as she looked over at me again. Her faced contorted and she slumped her shoulders a little and climbed into her truck.

I waited until she left to drive home, listening to 10 Years' _Wasteland_ the whole way.

My night was accompanied by JD, an old joint I found from my college days in a tin box in the back of the hall closet and A Perfect Circle.

So drunk, stoned and whimpering edgy lyrics I sat in my arm chair praying that I would fall into a black hole that would appear in the floor. Sucking me into hell, where demons would skewer me for wanting a student.

But instead I fell into another blackness.

The next couple of days I pretended to be fine. Not looking at Bella and teaching.

I stupidly chose to go eat in the cafeteria at the faculty table and saw her… Sitting with the blonde guy. He held her hand atop the table and cracking jokes to her. She was giggling, happy.

My hands balled into tight fists as I watched them. My vision hazed, red around the edges. My fingers itched to wrap around the kid's neck. I wanted him dead for touching her. Then I saw it. His lips brushed over her's. A deep growl ripped from my chest and I bolted out of the cafeteria. Images of them together, his hands all over her and them kissing, clothes coming off, flooded my mind. I couldn't stop them from playing over in my head.

I got to my classroom, slamming the door and taking my anger out on the contents on my desk. I screamed and seethed, wrecking my organized papers and anything in reach. Finally my legs gave out and I collapsed between my desk and the swivel chair. This… this girl was ruining me. I had told her to not see me as I wanted her to see me. As a man, not a teacher. It was my fault she was with that little punk. I gritted my teeth and swallowed the lump in my throat.

I would get over her. I would be her fucking teacher. She wouldn't break me. I refused it.

I spent the rest of lunch cleaning up my mess and finished just as students filed in.

At home I put on nothing but angry music and made quick friends with a bottle of Bacardi. Then I got in the shower and scrubbed every part of my body roughly, washing away everything.

BPOV

Mike kissed me! I froze after he pulled away and started a conversation with Tyler Crowley about football.

We had went out to the movies for a date in my attempt to steer clear of Edward. Mike and I never discussed what we were, but I just went along, my mind elsewhere. I guess we were an item now. I sighed looking over at Alice across from me and she gave me a encouraging smile. I scooted closer to Mike and he put his arm around my waist. I was disappointed there was no jolt of electricity as I once felt with Edward, but pushed that feeling down and distracted myself with plans with Alice for the weekend.

Every morning I dreaded first period and was tardy almost everyday. Finally the next week, I came in five minutes late and Edward called me over before I could sit down.

"Miss Swan, that's six unexcused tardies. I'm giving you after school detention for three days to make this up. I expect you in this room promptly at three-twenty five on the dot. If you're late, Saturday detention in the auditorium will be on your schedule. Is that understood?" he asked stiffly, not looking up from his lesson plan.

I sighed and gave him a quiet "yes sir", then went to my seat. Great, now I would be spending an hour alone with him for three days. God loved seeing me squirm.

After school I silently entered the room and sat in my desk. Edward looked up and then back down at his papers. After a while again he peered at me over his glasses. "Don't you have work?" he asked distantly.

"No, I have independent study, Mr. Cullen."

He let out a whoosh of air and stood, gathering a stack of papers. Once he was beside me he put them on top of my desk along with an answer key. Then, without a word he went back to his own desk, starting on essays.

As I graded I stole glances of him. I noticed his shirt was unbuttoned, the tie hanging undone around his neck. When he caught me looking I flushed and went back to marking papers.

"Can you tell me why you're always late?" he asked suddenly.

My head snapped up and I slowly shrugged.

"That boy must have you running for class every morning, then."

My mouth hung open. "That is none of your business!"

"It is if you're going to be tardy and disrupt the class!"

He stood, hands flat on his desk, face red and jaw clenched. I mirrored him.

"You tell me to acknowledge you as my teacher and you want to get into my personal life? You are such a hypocrite!" I hissed, stomping over to him, getting right in his face. "You tell me to respect you, to keep this strictly student/teacher and then you go off about Mike?! So you get to cross the professional line, but I can't?" I screamed, poking him in the shoulder.

His nostrils flared and his hands curled into fists. "I'll be here tomorrow, on time, Mr. Cullen," I sneered as I turned, grabbed my bag and left to the parking lot.

I slammed my truck door and hit the steering wheel. I went to start the engine, but instead of the deafening roar, it sputtered. I tried several times before banging my head on the wheel and calming my ragged breathing. I listened to the rain pelting bullets against the glass and closed my eyes.

Finally I got out and started my trek home in the freezing down pour. I was soaked after only a few steps.

I heard a familiar purr of a car and looked to see the Volvo slow down beside me. The window rolled down. "Get in, I'll drive you home," he sighed. I ignored him. He still crawled along side me.

"Look, I'm sorry. I haven't been doing well and it wasn't fair to take it out on you. Please just get in before you get hyperthermia." I still didn't respond.

I heard him get out of the car and then he was standing in front of me. "Please. Just let me drive you home."

I looked up at him, blinking through the rain. "You are seriously giving me whiplash. You tell me one thing and then do another. You want us to be professional, then you get into my affairs. What is your problem?"

He looked around then hunched his shoulders. "I know it's not appropriate for me and you to be friends. Because it's impossible for us to be friends."

I was so confused about his statement. I furrowed my brow. Then suddenly he grabbed my face and his mouth was crashing into mine. I immediately dropped my book bag and wrapped my arms around his neck, reaching up on my tiptoes to get more of him. He groaned and thrusted his tongue into my mouth. God. He tasted like coffee and peppermint. I tangled my fingers in his hair as he pushed me back against his car.

I gasped for air as he stepped away, panting and drenched.

"Let me take you home, please."

I blinked, trying to restart my brain. "Sure."

He picked up my bag and helped me into the passenger seat, throwing my bag in the back. My body went into shock as the heater blasted from the vents, stinging my face and hands.

The two minute trip, thanks to his speeding, was silent. When he put the car in park on my street I looked over at him. He stared with a worried face.

"Um, thanks…" It was so awkward and our teeth were chattering. I went to open the door, but he touched my arm. "I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked.

"It's Friday, Edward…"

"Oh, well maybe we could go to the diner, talk this out?"

I sighed. "Alice and I have plans. Maybe Monday during detention…"

He nodded and leaned over, eyes piercing mine and gently kissed my lips. I must've been bright red when I got out with my bag and headed to the house. He waited until I was inside before driving off. Jesus Christ, my head was spinning, my heart was in my throat and my lips were tingling.

"WHAT?!" Alice squealed. "He kissed you in the rain? That is so romantic! Was it Oscar winning?"

I laughed. "Yes he did. Yes it was. And more like Golden Globe."

She trilled and bounced, but then froze in mid running man. "Uh, what about Mike?"

I groaned. "Can you just tell him I'm a lesbian in the closet?" She snorted.

"You got to break it off. You have your dream guy, naughty school girl."

I rolled my eyes. Great. I had to dump Mike…

Alice and I stayed up trying to catch flying popcorn we aimed at each other and watched her collection of John Hughes movies.

Monday was surely to be full of drama and heat. I prayed mostly for heat…

**Again so very, very, very sorry for the long wait. My pc finally quit PMSing and aloud my to get on the internet. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**Reviews are better than jealous Edward!**

**Luna **


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